Day 9.
Tonight will be the last night I'm staying up late. Work gonna commence on Monday. So tml night I need to sleep early. I know I can't, so I'm going to eat the sleeping pill..
Boy, are you reading the book I bring it for you ytd? Idk if you've finish reading the previous time. I also don't know why I bring that book for you, but hope you read it again alright? That "present" I'm giving that bastard, before passing it to him, remember to give it back to me. There're still things I wanna say to him.. =)
Now I'm stitting infront of the laptop blogging, I don't know what to type. I'm already lost for words. Everyday I can only think of why are you treating me like this? WHY?!..
You choose to leave at this point when you needed me. You choose to scream and yell at me just wanting me to hate you. You want me to pretend that I've never meet you in the first place. You want me to never look back. You.....
I know you feel upset and hurt when you say all these to me. You're force to say it under such circumstances. But if I'm you, I won't do or say such things. Cos at this point of time, I really need love and concern from my closed ones. But you rather suffer and swallow all your sorrows alone. Don't you think you're selfish? Have you spare a thought for others who love you?..
You say you don't love me, you cannot be bothered. Yes, you don't love me, but you never say you hate me. When I hug or kiss you, you didn't brush me away. Yes, you cannot be bothered. But I know you still yearn for it right? You're waiting for me to take the first step. Cos you know, you can't hold me like the past anymore..
When you try to torture me, why did you stop in the end? You can choose not to stop and continue doing it. Cos you know I'm in pain, you don't have the heart to see me suffer when I didn't even scream a word out. I know you still care and love me..
Not I want to bhb say all these, but its the fact that you never ever want to admit. Cos you say I know 70% of you, the remaining 30% is a mystery. Compare yourself. A girlf who is together with you for 20 months can understand 70% of you whereas a bastard who claim to be your "brother" who know you for 7 years understand only 20 or 30% of you. Tssssk!~ How pathetic it is. Give me more time and I'll understand that remaining 30%..
You think you understand me, you think that I'll cry because of how you treated me. But you're so damn wrong! Idk since when I've become numb already. The Madeline you see now is different from the past. If this thing were to happen in the past, I'll cry and whine like nobody business..
But today, she is a strong girl and won't cry because of these setbacks. I learn it all from you. Before you play this game of Karma, you say you gonna be a dog who bite and doesn't let go. Now I'm returning this phrase back to you. I'm going to bite onto this relationship and never let go. You bite onto that bastard and bitch, while I bite you. Well, what goes around comes around. You can avoid me all you want, but you should know I'm good in giving surprises.. ;)
Ohh, just to let you know, I've deleted your "girlf" in my facebook. And my profile setting is very private. Those not in my friend list can't see what I've posted on my wall. Her friend tried to add me, but I reject it straight. Now when ppl add me, I'll be very careful of who and who not to accept. So these ppl who may be spy won't have the chance to see all those things I've posted up. No worries. Everything I do, is all for you and that bastard who wanted to be my friend in facebook so badly.. ^^
"Its better to lose your pride with someone you love, rather than lose that someone with your useless pride."
Madeline. 
Healthy YOU.