You & Me with Lil' Autumn. ♥

Thursday, July 30, 2009 ; 10:25 PM♥

I hate random passerby girls who ask number from boyf.

Whats wrong with young girls nowadays? Fancy taking or giving their handphone numbers to random guys. I mean guys whom they've not even chat before. And they can just approach for number. So bitch la! Or am I old and not following the trend anymore?

:( :( :(

I want to delicate a very nice song to these random passerby girls.
狐狸精 by 罗志祥.

I know the song tempo is very fast and hardly can listen to the lyrics.
So must search for the lyrics!!!

狐狸精狐狸精狐狸精真是讨厌

狐狸精狐狸精狐狸精快滚一边

狐狸精狐狸精我就是看不顺眼

狐狸精狐狸精狐狸精我最讨厌!!!

:) :) :)

xoxoxoxo

Was searching for Show's song and make me think of Yuanyong during sec sch times.

He will keep singing 把爱放出来 Shake it! Mama! Shake it! and bla.

And his expression will be damn funny. Haas.
Miss those great old school uniform days! :D

; 1:02 AM♥

Went to ICA just now and collect my passport.
Should have made an appointment so I don't have to wait for 30min. -.-

From the can see each other almost everyday, till 3 to 4 times a week.
And now the once or twice/week.
What's next after attatchment?

NS! = Ripping off 2 years of freedom.

Nice one. (:
%^#$%!@+?!

Love is just a word. But you gave its meaning to it.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009 ; 2:07 AM♥

Problems from blogger really sux. A few days already still like that.

I wanna say, insects love my room alot. Today there's this wierd fly or whatever is in my room. Its not moving and still on the same spot. I even MMS the photo of that creature to baby and he also don't know what it is. A few days back there's this moth in my room too. Hai wo dare not sleep at night. Scary! 7th month coming so tend to have alot of these insects. I believe that such insects have spirt so I pray for 4D numbers. I know its stupid la! But baby ask me to give him 4 digits so he can buy 4D. Lol. So before I throw numbers, I talk to the insect and tell him/her to give me 4 numbers. Hope the number will open even though its hard. Den my dear boy won't have to worry about money problem for his wifey. Heeh.

Monday, July 27, 2009 ; 10:56 PM♥

The weather is so cooling and nice to sleep. This kind of sudden hot and cold weather will make my poor baby having flu and running nose. But no matter how flu-y he is or having a bad running nose, I will still not be affected by him. Heeh.

Gonna have kaya toast with butter later. Yum yum!

我讨厌被推开的感觉. :'(

; 12:39 AM♥

Woke up at 6.30 in the morning to pray my yeye 100th day. Super restless cos I only slept for 3 hours and Miss Bloody Red choose to visit me today. Like so fast lor. Better than never come and I'll at there make noise. Poor baby, he's gonna tolerate my superb bad temper again. Erm... was on the phone and texting him awhile ago but I never show attitude lors. Cos I 忍，忍，忍!! (:

Another thing is my parents let me quit Shatec if I want. They know I have -0% intrest in this course and I'm slacking my life away now. Since I've come to this stage in the middle of nowhere, dropping out is really stupid. If its like this, I've wasted one year of my life for nothing. I regretted not completing sec 5. Oh well, its all over already. I know many will urge me not to quit and will say just fucking complete this one year attatchment so I can fuck off from this industry forever. But hor, I really got no mood and don't feel like doing it lors. Erm.. I still own the school $375 for exam fees. No money pay them also. Money suckers school. Damn. Really don't know what to do about it. Such a tough decision to make. May God bless me.

Saturday, July 25, 2009 ; 11:23 PM♥

Baby off day is next friday. Hiax. But just now after his work he's nice enough to come find me even though its only for awhile and he left. Sad. I miss him... <3

I don't know what hurts you

But I can feel it too

And it just hurts so much

To know that I can't do a thing..

BB, I feel helpless when I can't help you when you're in need.

But when I need you, you never fail to be by my side.
Am I useless.. Or stupid?

Friday, July 24, 2009 ; 7:54 PM♥

WARNING!!

This post is about Sex and Body. Do not read if you feel uncomfortable. And people who read it, its just for general knowledge. Seriously no offence to anybody. And guys, do not go raping or molesting girls just because of the first question hor! Thank you.

(Btw, I'm 18 years old. Which means legal for sex in law.)

Saw this article from the newspaper Mind Your Body about Sex and you!

Of cos not gonna type the whole thing out cos it will be very long.

(Pg 12-15. Its from yesterday's paper.)

xoxoxo

Can man make love to a woman he does not love?

Ans: Yes they can. Man can be totally turned on just by looking at an attractive woman. Generally, most men, when stimulated enough, can have sex whether he knows the woman or loves her.

Madeline's view: That's the reason why I want to be tall and have big firm solid boobs with long sexy legs! Just like Mariah Carey! :D

Why do man fall asleep after sex while woman want to cuddle?

Ans: Men's sexual desires usually die immediately after sex as they enter a resting phase called the refractory period.

Dr Lim said:" The man feels satisfied that he's done his job, so he goes to sleep. The woman reason for sex is love. After its over, she still feels the effects of the oxytocin hormone, which is linked to simulation and orgasm, so she wants to be cuddled and held to feel secure."

Madeline's view: Hannor! Damn true! Always sleep only. Once sleep, so hard to wake up. When he's sleeping, stroke his hair and face. Give him light gentle kisses. Tell him you love him even though by this time he might be snoring loudly. After that disturb him and ask him wake up!! Hahahaha! *Evil laugh!*

Can you have sex or get pregnant during your period?

Ans: Most women are turned off during their period as there's so much blood. It is medically safe, however, to do so. The chance of a pregnancy from having sex during one's period is 1 in 30,000. It is not impossible, you still can get pregnant if you ovulate at different times.

Madeline's view: Yesss, very disgusting. Bloody! What if stain on bed sheet and both you and your guy are super turn on? Go toilet do lor! Lol!!

What and where is a woman's G-spot?

Ans: This very sensitive and erotic zone was originally known as the Grafenberg Spot and named after German gynaecologist, Ernst Gragenberg. He first describe it in 1944.

The G-spot is believed to be located near the urethra in the anterior part of the vagina behind the pubic bone. Stroking that area is useful for establishing whether you have a G-spot and how it adds to your sexual pleasure. Sitmulation of the area during pentration can also enhance pleasure. G-spot is an extension of the clitoris and is highly sensitive because of the nerve endings concentrated in that area. It is not known if all women have a G-spot. "Many believe if you can find it, you may want to buy lottery."

Madeline's view: Girls can dig themself or ask their partner for help if they want to know if they have a G-spot. Haha! If ever find it, den faster go buy 4D. Erm... like make no sense and no logic lors. Scarli the number you buy really open. You'll never know! So baby, I know why you buy 4D always never open. Cos you must faster find mine, after that confirm open. HAHAHA!!

Is it normal for women to feel like peeing during sex?

Ans: Dr Choong said: "Orgasm cause muscle contractions. When women have over-active bladders, the bladder muscles contract involuntarily and the bladder may release urine during orgasm. He advised women to seek treatment if they pee everytime during an orgasm. If you want to pee during sex everytime, it could be a sign of a urinary tract infection or a STD."

Madeline's view: Like so wierd if feel like peeing lor. Means do half way must run to toilet already? Confirm do till pek cek luh! Got mood also become no mood.

Can pregnant women have sex?

Ans: Dr Choong said pregnant women can have sex as long as they don't experience bleeding or vaginal discharge. Sex can occur throughout pregnancy and that, in fact, sexual desire in pregnant women shoots up during the second trimester.

Madeline's view: Big stomach still want to have sex. Like very difficult leh. What if accidently the husband fall onto the wife? Or the baby suddenly kick the mum so hard till she can't really enjoy it. =x

Does penis size matter?

Ans: Dr Gan said:" All our sexual thoughts, ideals and behaviour are socially constructed. The social expecation of a man is that he is big and strong so size counts. However, it is the hardness of the erection that matters, not so much the size of penis. The average erect penis length is between 14cm to 16cm and its grith is 12 to 13cm.

Madeline's view: No comment. Go survey a few guys and have their opinion.

xoxoxo

Still have 2 more questions but I'm lazy to type. This article is great! Let me know one step further about sex. Heeh! Don't you think so? :D

Sunday, July 19, 2009 ; 4:35 PM♥

1) I will never let boyf shave his hair again.

2) I longed to go for a holiday.

3) Picnic at Botanic Gardens might be lovely.

4) Or a trip to the zoo will be fun.

5) Hate boyf for not telling me whether the old man at OCH is a human or ghost.

6) Dark circles and eyebags are the most horrible thing to a woman.

7) Not to forget flabby tummy, arms and legs too.

8) I want an exact tinkerbell tattoo like my navel stud. Cool.

9) I want the big ears bunny from Build-A-Bear workshop.

10) Boyf off day is on wednesday. Damn. 3 more days to go.

Saturday, July 18, 2009 ; 8:04 PM♥

10 misses from Madeline's

I miss laughing my heart out.
I miss going back East Spring to study with uniform.
I miss those slacking at void decks and Mcdonals after school.
I miss vandalising the table.
I miss sec 3 chinese lessons.
I miss sleeping during classes.
I miss the noisy classroom.
I miss how we mock and make teachers angry.
I miss staying back doing F&N coursework.
I miss teachers complaining to my mum about me.

The 11th miss will be my dear botak boyf.
& yessssssss, his hair is growing already. :D

Love issin't love when it doesn't hurt.

The 3O's - Love Once and Only Once.

Friday, July 17, 2009 ; 7:52 PM♥

Only you can make me smile baby.

Is me who never learn how to appreciate you.

All I give you were troubles and worries.

Sorry about everything.

I love you.

我依然是你的情人　我依然爱你最深

别再紧闭你的唇　不哭不笑也不问

我依然是你的情人　我依然爱你最深

你的眼神太伤人　不看不听也不问我的真

Thursday, July 16, 2009 ; 11:40 PM♥

Baby take his wifey for repair and idk how can he go out without her. Stupid him. >.<

Baby, somehow I feel that we're drifting apart.
Is it because you hardly had time for me that's why my heart is being carried away?
I know you had no choice too cos you got to work. I'm not here whining like a small kid.
I have to be understanding too.
But I seem to can't reach out to you.. :(
I longed to see you everyday. Giving you a warm hug or a gentle kiss will do.
I know this is impossible.
I just can't stop missing you..

Loving somebody is hard.

But to find somebody who you love and love you is even harder.

Baby看着我不要放手

我的手只有你可以握

把耳朵靠向我只要听我说我爱你

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 ; 10:38 PM♥

I miss you baby.
Its been 2 days since I saw you. :(
Do you miss me like how I always miss you?

xoxoxo

Glad that I don't have the I-want-to-smoke craving anymore.
I want to put it to a stop. I don't want to risk my health by not able to get pregnant next time.
This is my biggest worry of all.
I don't want to become a heavy smoker and harm my child's life.
I want a healthy baby lor!

So bee, you can feed me with money or food.

But stop feeding me with cigg!

I rather you feed me beer which I know you won't and I will show you that fuck face. Haas!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 ; 1:33 PM♥

我们在一起5 个月了!!

一场美丽的意外，让我们相遇，也在一起了。。

相爱的两个人要在一起真的很不容易。

但我们还是做到了。:)

宝贝，我爱你！

xoxoxo

Baby, sorry that you always got to worry about me. Sorry if I text you any hurtful things on sunday night. I really can't take the nonsense anymore. I didn't want to chat on phone with you cos I'm happily sobbing away. =x

When you send me home last night, I hug you so tightly when you're riding. I said some things to you in my heart. Can you hear me?

I know now you got to worry about your bike. Don't worry, all these things will soon be over. I know we will pull through it together. (:

Labels: 5th Monthsary

Sunday, July 12, 2009 ; 3:04 AM♥

Its late now and I can't get to sleep.

Sometimes I wonder, when a couple gets together for long, is there still love or is it just a habit to have each other? I think most people will start thinking, if I don't have him/her sure die lor. But people take things for granted. They always think that the "thing/people" will always be there for them. When things doesn't go in their way, they will start complaining and making noise just like me. I hope I will change and never be like this.

I feel like going for a good holiday, alone. Its time I should relax myself if not I think I'm going crazy soon. I wanna try the feeling of taking my digital camera and take photos of the surrounding. I wanna walk on the beach with the seawater touching my legs. I wanna have a good body massage and spa. Yes, I want to do this all alone. Bringing somebody along will only add on to my burden. Sometimes I just feel like staying at the beach alone for the whole day without people disturbing me. I need a good rest. I want to stay away from those naggings and shoutings. I know I can't do these now. But this is what I hope for. I want money and I need it.

There're just problems and problem which I can't stop thinking. I can't forget the past, I really can't forget about it. People say forgive and forget. I forgive but never forget. Fuck it. Why must I live in such agony? Why must I be the one suffering and not him? Why does he forget and I have to remember about everything? WHY?!?! I'm going bersak because of this. I want to be free from all these. Somebody save me..

Idk what I'm typing and I guess I'm typing rubbish. Just ingore it.

Good night people.

I will be fine. (:

Friday, July 10, 2009 ; 11:08 PM♥

I know its been a long time since many of you saw my pig face. So just now the very bored me decided to take photos cos the feel of taking pictures just came. So I faster snap, snap and snap till I get bored of it and before the feel goes off. Okay, its 101% pure pig face without any preservatives and chemicals such as makeup. (:

Thursday, July 9, 2009 ; 10:17 PM♥

Feel like chopping baby into 1000 pieces.
As usual I gave him morning call every morning.
He will text me before he leave house and when he reach his work place.
30 min later, no text came in.
Sms him the first time, no reply. Second time, no reply again.
Thought what happen to him, so I gave him a call.
He answered and tell me he's at workplace already.
%^&*$%#@^&!
Really qi si wo liao!!
And if I never receive his text, I can't get back to sleep again.
Is like something is missing. Idk how to describe also.

After he answered my call, I text him this.
"Never die before huh. I wait for your msg till want to tor hui. I thought what happen to you. Den I cant sleep at all."

He replied: "haha. so you will worried for me de?"

Waahh! My blood vessel almost explode. Like as if I always neglect him like that lor.
Feel like slapping him up down left right center.

If I don't care, when he come home late at 4am I don't even have to wait for his text and can go sleep first. I waited the whole night just to ensure he's safe at home. If not I also can't sleep well. When you're at outside, I don't keep texting you cos I want you to enjoy yourself. I don't want to make myself like an irritating ass keep bombing your phone. I never show my care for you doesn't mean I don't care or don't worry at all hor. Deep in my heart I really worry like fuck can!!

But hor, I still love you lor. :D

Labels: Angry Yet Loving Him

Wednesday, July 8, 2009 ; 2:10 PM♥

Monday evening baby came and pick me up from my house and den to find his friend Ah Hong.

He had dinner at interchange food court and I went to find Jiajie and get a gift for Xinyi.

And we headed to Coasta Sands for Xinyi chalet!

Saw those regulars and secondary school friends. Miss them many many. (:

Baby and Ah Hong wanted to buy beer from the NTUC at Downtown so I follow them lor.

They park their bike illegally under the CCTV and was caught by a carpark staff there.

So bo bian must park at parking slot ma.

Baby got up the bike, wear helmet, sit down, and zoom off without me lor!

(I was wearing helmet that time so haven get up yet.)

Me and Ah Hong den gong gong stare at each other.

Thought of getting up his bike den he also zoom off liao.

Den I lan lan must walk down lor.

By right I should be very angry but by left idk why can't get angry.

Its funny and stupid la. First time leave without me. =.=

Okay, I finally broke my muslim law of not drinking alcohol.

Idk why I drank quite alot from baby beer bottle.

Maybe before that shou dao ci ji liao lors. Hahaha.

Got to admit was a little drunk but bee and Ah Hong keep talking cock and make me ROFL. :D

Bla bla bla~

La la la~

Bee and I den sit at a coffee shop nearby his house and open one bottle of beer.

Ohya, when we're on highway, he take off his jacket and let me wear cos he know I'm cold.

Thank you boyf! Love you much much. ^^

Its 4am+ we're drinking again and eating toast. -.-

Went up his house to bath and wanted to sleep.

Don't know why bath out jiu very awake liao lor cos before that I'm half dead.

In the end is he fall asleep like a pig. Zzz.

I will never share blanket with him again.

Keep snatching away from me den the whole morning I never sleep well.

If not jiu say dream talk and swing his hand. Almost landed on my face.

Qi si wo liao lor! You tell me how to sleep??

Went J8 repair his handphone den saw promotion at Singtel shop.

They don't accept Shatec student pass for student plan. So lj. =.=

Go back his house take his letter of ***** idk how to spell and go to Xinyi working place to sign lo.

Only I know his new number. Not even his parents. =x

Because I'm his VIP!! (Very Important Pig). Zzz.

Reach home at 8+ and later I had a good fucking session.

Lucky I brush abit of butter on my ass before that so its not really that pain. Laughs!

Happy 18th Birthday, Xinyi!

Sunday, July 5, 2009 ; 10:04 PM♥

Had dinner at baby's workplace with my family.
My brother keep pestering he wants to eat steak and see my boyf. Lol.
So from MS we went to SK.
Baby think that he's feeding a pig family. The portion is so big.
Majiam we like 3 days never have food lor. =.=
Best is during that time he's having spilt shift.
Den our whole dinner is he cook for us.

Ohh, & we had extra 10% discount, free soup and coke.

Ahahaha! Love you la boyf!

My dad is mad also la.
He saw baby eating snake and smoking den get scolded by chef.
Den he thought our dinner is cooked by other kitchen staffs.
He suspect his cooking skills den ask him to come our house cook crabs for us. Zzz.
The most kua zhang thing is cook for us during CNY.
Like he don't need to celebrate with his parents la!!
Den I give him the diao face lor. Walao.
Majiam my boyf is his personal chef lor!!
Later baby scared of cooking for him den run away from me. T.T
I tell you, everyday I will hide under blanket cry. ='(

Thursday, July 2, 2009 ; 11:29 PM♥

1. Real name?
- Madeline Goh W.T.

2. Nickname?
- Idk?

3. Star sign?
- Sagittarius

4. Male or Female?
-Female.

5. Primary school?
- Griffiths & Yumin.

6. Secondary school?
- East Spring.

7. Jc/Poly?
- Shatec.

8. Hair Colour?
- Black.

9. Long or short?
- Medium.

10. Loud or Quiet?
- Depends

11. Sweats or Jeans?
- Jeans.

12. Phone or Camera?
- Phone.

13. Health Freak?
- Okok la.

14. Drink or Smoke?
- Smoke.

15. Do you have a crush on someone?
- No.

16. Eat or drink?
- Both.

17. Piercings
- Lazy count.

18. Tattoos?
- None.

19. Been in an airplane?
- Yes.

20 Been in a relationship?
- Yes.

.21. Been in a car accident?
- Idk.

22. Been in a fist fight?
- Yes.

23. First piercing?
- Forget.

.24. First best friend?
- Forget.

25. First award?
- Forget.

26. First crush?
- Forget.

27. First vacation?
- Malaysia.

28. Last person you talked to?
- Brother.

29. Last person you texted to?
- Boyf.

.30. Last person(s) you watched a movie with?
- Boyf.

.32. Last food you ate?
- Chewing gum.

33. Last movie you watched?
- Drag Me To Hell.

34. Last song you listen to?
- No Matter What.

35. Last thing you bought?
- Hair Treatment thing.

36. Last person you hugged?
- Boyf.

Favourites:

37. Food: Baby's cooking.

38. Drinks: Pearly Soya Milk.

39. Clothing: Idk.

40. Books: My Diary.

41. Song: Loads.

42. Flower: Roses, Baby Breath.

43. Colour: Black.

44. Movies: Comedy.

45. Phrase: Kns~

46. Subject: F&N.

47. Kissed in the snow?
- No.

48. Celebrated Halloween?
- No.

49. Had your heart broken?
- Yes.

50. Went over the minutes in your cellphone.
- Idk?

51. Someone questioned your sexually orientation?
- Yes.

52. Come out of the closet?
- ??

53. Gotten pregnant?
- No.

54. Had an abortion?
- No.

55. Done something that you've regretted?
- Hell yes.

56. Broke a promise?
- Yes.

57. Hide a secret?
- Yes.

58. Pretended to be happy.
- Put a fake smile on face.

59. Met someone who changes your life?
- Boyf.

60. Pretended to be sick?
- Yes.

61. Left the country?
- Yes.

62. Tried something you normally wouldn't try and like it?
- Idk.

63. Cried over the silliest thing?
- Yes.

64. Ran a mile?
- No. Haas.

65. Went to the beach with your best friend(s)?
- Yes.

67. Eating?
- Chewing.

68. Drinking?
- No.

69. I'm about to:
- Ferment and Rot.

70. Listening to:
- No Matter What.

71. Plans for tomorrow?
- Meet baby.

72. Waiting for?
- Baby's text.

73. Want kids?
- Yes.

74. Want to get married?
- Yes.

75. Careers in mind?
- Idk.

76. girl/boy?
- Both.

77. Lips or eyes?
- Eyes.

78. Shorter or taller?
- Taller.

.79. Romantic or spontaneous?
- Both.

.80. Nice stomach or nice arms?
- Arms.

81. Sensitive or loud?
- Loud.

82. Hook-up or relationship?
- Relationship.

83. Trouble-maker or hesistant?
- None.

84. Lost glasses/contacts?
- No.

85. Ran away from home?
- No.

86. Killed somebody?
- Not yet but feel like..

.87. Broken someone's heart?
- Yes.

88. Been arrested?
- No.

89. Cried when someone's die?
- Yes.

Believe in:

90. Yourself: Depends.

91. Miracles: Yes.

92. Love at first sight: Guess so?

93. Heaven: Don't think so.

94. Santa Claus: No.

95. Sex on the first date: Yes.

96. Kiss on the first date: Yes.

97. Is there one person you wishes to be with now: Yes.

98. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life: No.

100. This is the 100th question and last question: Orh. Okay lor. Byebye.

xoxoxo

Sibei boliao lorx. I'm fermenting now!!!

; 10:59 PM♥

Yesterday evening baby came to find me after his work.

Slack around den we went to Jalan Kayu to have prata at midnight.

My whole mouth is damn swollen with little ulcer cos I keep biting on my lips and tongue. Nice one. So got to eat very slowly.

Reach home at 2.10 and I'm really tired.

Yessss, tml is baby off so I can see him again. (:

Ever since baby shave botak, I've been keeping myself busy by drawing.

Those who know me well will know that I can't draw at all.

But because of him hor, I started to hold my pencil and draw non stop.

Every piece of drawing I will give it to him.

And I think I'm getting better at it! Heeheeeheeeee.

Stupid random post. Byeeeexxzzz.

I'm feeling better and a little relax. I hardly think of those things now although most of the time I'm always alone.

Thank God for the power and courage for me to move on. Just a little bit more, I know I won't be thinking about it already.

And I belive I can make it. (:

Baby, I'm always saying sorry to your heart when I'm hugging you. I hope you can hear ir too.