Day 8.
20 Oct midnight, I know you're at home. Your MSN & facebook is online. I called you many many times, but you didn't pick up. I used my brother's hp to call, you pick up and shouted YES MADELINE GOH, what you want?!?! You seems reluctant to talk to me. Giving me that same kind of cold shoulder and attitude once again..
After this, you text me saying you want to end our relationship. I beg you not to leave me, but you still remain standing in your own shoes. You keep saying I don't trust you, but does the things you do let me trust? You book out from camp, didn't even bother to text or call telling me about it. No matter how I beg, you still wanna breakup with me. I'm fine with it, cos I know you're saying angry words at that time. No tears roll down my cheeks, just a smile on my face. I'm very calm at that point of time. I know you won't leave me for no reason, & my guess is right. Something is amiss..
I ring up Sugar the next day and she hinted me things. The whole world wants me to leave you, but she's the only person who speaks up for you. This make my guess even more accruate. You can lie to the whole world, but not me. I know you too well boy. You're smart, but sometimes I'm even smarter than you.. ;)
What is wrong with your body now idk. I went to find you in the afternoon, you're also not willing to breath a word out to me. What happen in your house I shall not talk about it, just forget about everything I did to you and what you did to me. Because what left behind are just pain and tears..
I very much wanted to take back my helmet, you don't allow. You say you want to keep memory of my helmet because of the blings you stick. I will never forget that day, you took almost 2 hours just to stick those blings for me. I know you hadn't forgotten about it too.. You threw all the things I gave you on my lap, but I throw it back to the sofa. That's not the things I want to take you know? All I want is my helmet, because that belongs to ME ONLY. I will never ever allow that bitch to use it. Understand?! Since you say I'm the only girl who can wear that helmet, I trust you, I put it back..
Today I gave you that bracelet which engraved you and my name. One day when you're back to my side, I want you to wear it for me. So please safekeep it with you boy. Before I leave your place, I rub medical oil on your tummie, place the beansprout pillow on it. That's the least I can do for you. Boy, promise me you'll take good care of yourself without me by your side alright? Cos it just hurts to see you suffering in pain silently. Being your girlf', I feel so helpless and hopeless. I can't even help you with anything when you choose to brush me aside. Now I hope Sugar will be there to help you. She understand your condition most. Or should I say she's the only one who understand your condition now? While I only can sit back and do nothing, watching you suffer in pain..
Since you don't want me to be your girlf, den I shall be your best friend. A friend that stay and never leave, a friend that is willing to go thru those ups and downs with you. You won't be that heartless to reject me being your best friend right? Boy, I'm just a call away. If you need help, just ring me up alright?...
Though now I'm just a friend, but I still want to say this. No matter what, our love have never change at all. I'm still waiting for you, waiting for you to hug and protect me like how you used to. Yes, I may be feeling numb now. But I know I love you and this is the fact. I just hope you'll be like the past, always full of smiles and laughters. You know I'm waiting......
I'll try to update my blog on a daily basis. I want you to know what I'm doing every single day. How much I yearn to be by your side yet I can't. How much I miss and love you but I can't say out to the world. So I can only rant on my blog. I know you're reading it. Our relationship is not a drama show, its love. Outsiders won't understand what we're going thru now..
14 Feb '09, you took my heart away. You promise not to leave, but now... Hiax. We may not be married in the eyes of law, but in my heart we're already married. I know you still love me, that's why I didn't give up & I will never give up. The more you try pushing me away, the more I want to stick with you. Sorry, I won't leave at this point of time when you needed me most. Just remember; I'm A PART of you, not APART from you. You ain't a burden to me, you're my dearest boyf. So stop thinking that you're a burden to me. COS I SAY YOU AIN'T MEANS YOU AIN'T.
"How am I suppose to forget everything we had if you left so many things behind for me to remember?"
There're 30 ways to treat a girl. Everytime I update my blog, I'll post one picture up in numeric order. Hope till the end of 30 days after I've posted up all the images, you're back by my side.
Madeline. 
Healthy YOU.