Tuesday, October 26, 2010 ; 9:24 PM♥
Day 12.
Started work yesterday! Back to the same old table, my info counter. Next week I'll move on the registration counter and so. Tml Merlin won't be around with me, so I got to fight alone. But I'm afraid. Cos things ain't the same like the past. More things to do now. One thing wierd is I'm talking very patiently on phone when calling those patients. What's wrong with me?!?! Normally I'll yell and scream!
I went to Yishun after work today. Sorry, just can't help it. It's totally killing me. But I've promise I won't pester him. Idk if I can really do it, but I'll try..
Dear Chub Chub, I'm glad that your daddie didn't push me away when I wanna hug him. Yes he push me twice when I tried to hold his hand. But I ain't angry with him. Cos I really don't know how to get upset or angry at him..
I hope I can be the Autumn Chub Chub. I know if I were to put you infront of him, he'll hug you tightly. He'll never push you away. He'll never scream or yell at you. He'll love you with all his might. But too bad, I'm Madeline Goh. The girl who pester him. The girl who he think is very annoying and irritating. The girl who doesn't stand a place in his heart anymore.. All because I'm Madeline Goh...
But babylove, I'll fight for our happiness. Cos you know we need him in our life. Your daddie is irreplaceable. You and him shared the same birthday. Only you understand him most. One day if marmie failed to win this battle, please don't blame me. Cos I've tried my best to maintain this relationship. But your bond with daddie will never change. A daughter is always closest to her dad. I guess in his heart, you're always his lovely lil girl, Autumn Chub Chub..
Give marmie the courage and strength to stay strong alright? Cos I don't know when I'll collapse and leave you behind all alone. Marmie health issin't very good these days. I will be going to the hospital this weekend for checkup. Yes, the place you're afraid most. The smell of medication lingers around in the air, the cries of people crying after their love ones leave them. But you don't have to worry about me, your daddie will be with you when I leave. And I know he will. Just continue giving daddie the smile and happiness like you've always given me..
If marmie were to leave, it will be after my cousin kor kor wedding. I wanna wear the yellow dress and make myself pretty. Cos this is the day I'll be Cinderella. When the clock strikes 12am, I'll turn back to my normal self again, looking so pale and restless as if soon I'll be reduce to a pack of bones. Colleagues say marmie have become slim. But they don't know what's happening to me. I can only tell them I'm trying to slim down..
Baby, remember to tell him I love him alot. He stand a huge space in my heart. Nobody but only him. But never tell him the lil secrets I've shared with you. Its just between the both of us. :)
Love your marmie,
Madeline.
Madeline. 
Healthy YOU.